If you have ever facilitated or attended a strategy workshop, chances are you have encountered a workshop bully. Most teams know exactly who they are! You CRINGE at the thought of being trapped in a windowless conference room with them for one or two very long days.

Workshop bullies aren’t villains (mostly). They’re simply enthusiastically over-confident humans who believe their voice is a NATIONAL KEY POINT. Their spirit animal is a MEGAPHONE.They treat your carefully crafted agenda like a polite suggestion — the kind to ignore.

After years of facilitating workshops for corporates, government departments and the occasional State-owned-entity-on-fire,  I’ve developed a facilitator’s survival guide to managing workshop bullies.

Here’s how to deal with these colourful characters… without high blood pressure, tears or holy water!

1. The Over-Talker (a.k.a. “Minister of Monologues”)

This person can turn a two-minute introduction into a TED Talk.

How to deal:

Use the polite interruption: “Fantastic point, Steve — let’s build on it by hearing from someone who hasn’t spoken yet.”

If that fails, initiate the “Parking Lot”, a strategic holding pen where ideas go to be honoured… or forgotten... as the case may be.

2. The Side-Chat Committee

This group forms spontaneously in a corner, whispering like they’re planning a coup.

How to deal:

Walk slowly towards them like a documentary filmmaker approaching wild animals. They’ll freeze. Proximity is the natural predator of side-conversations.

If they persist, pause dramatically and say: “I’m loving the energy in this corner — please share the conversation with all of us!” They will sit upright immediately and stop hanna-hannering!

3. The Agenda Hijacker

This participant arrives with a personal mission: to turn your carefully designed workshop into their private project meeting.

How to deal:

Refer to the agenda like it’s the Constitution. Say: “That’s important, and today’s agenda covers X. Let’s note your item for a later session.” Translation: Not today, my friend. Not today.

Then smile reassuringly, the way doctors do when they say, “You won’t feel a thing!”

4. The Silent Assassin

This person says nothing for three hours, then drops a grenade like: “Actually, this entire plan is flawed.”

How to deal:

Assign structured reflective time early in the agenda. Silent assassins love one-on-one thinking time.

Then call on them early, before they gather enough internal pressure to detonate on the room.

5. The Toxic Manager (The Grandmaster of Fear-Based Leadership)

Ah yes. The final boss. The most difficult bully of all! This is the narcissistic overlord who:

• Never stops talking
• Ridicules every suggestion
• Belittles staff publicly
• Uses sarcasm as a weapon
• Creates a climate where people would rather swallow glass than speak

How to deal:

First, recognise you are not just dealing with a workshop bully… you are dealing with a deeply insecure manager, probably with narcissistic or psychopathic tendencies.

Stay calm. Stay professional. Remember, their behaviour is not a reflection of you! It’s a reflection of their inner 12-year-old who never got enough approval and was probably bullied in school.

Practical strategies:

• Level the Playing Field: At the outset remind everyone that they are all equals in the workshop. Request everyone to leave their titles and hierarchies at the door, so that everyone feels safe to speak and contribute. The best creative thinking and innovation cannot emerge in a culture of fear, where team members are shut down. It emerges in a culture of trust and loyalty, where every employee feels valued and respected.

• Redirect with structure: “Thank you. I’d like to hear three other views, before we return to you.”
• Use ground rules as your shield: “We agreed to respect all contributions. Please let’s hold to that.”
• Break into small groups: Toxic Managers lose 80% of their power when their audience is divided. However, they will dominate small groups too, so pair them with strong personalities, who will insist on being heard too.
• Support their victims: Publicly affirm useful contributions so others feel safe to speak again.

And if all else fails? Tea break. Immediately!

Final Wisdom: Laugh, Breathe, Facilitate!

Workshop bullies thrive on chaos and emotional reactions. Stay calm and patient, laugh, redirect, breathe!

Your superpower as a facilitator isn’t the big screen or your laser-pointer…  It’s your ability to manage disruptive energy, OTT personalities, and the occasional enthusiastic disruptor... with grace, firmness and diplomacy.

And most importantly… a good dose of humour! Practice makes perfect!

Good luck and warm regards,

Cassandra C. Gabriel

Contact me: cassandra@gabrielweb.co.za / Whatsapp: +27 82 783 7298